Resolutions and anxiety – 7 self-care ideas

I’m a bit late with this post, I know. In fairness, I started writing it just after Christmas, and January seems to have gone by in a hazy mish-mash of ‘Thank God that’s over’ and ‘shit, I’m poor.’

I find New Year quite overwhelming (now there’s a surprise!) There seems to be this overbearing expectation to turn into some sort of upgraded version of yourself. A whole new person who has their shit together; looks amazing and carefully considers everything they put into their body. (I’m not giving up Gin…. okay!? Actually, that’s not true as I’ve given up alcohol for Lent.)

As someone who, in all honesty, has had a ‘shit year’, mentally, I find this really difficult. My anxiety already kicking up a gear; making me consider all the things I’m not. All the things I do ‘wrong’; all the things I’m shit at. All the things I feel I’m lacking and feeling like a failure because I’m still not slim & beautiful, organised or conquering the world as the clock strikes midnight on NYE.

Realistically and logically, I can’t control the future any more than I can change the past. If only’s and fretting about what has happened or might happen won’t change anything. I know it, but anxiety doesn’t allow me to move forward with this mindset.

I only know this for certain: I don’t want to endure another year like the last one, so the only part of my life I resolve to improve this year is self-care.

I don’t mean that in a selfish way, not completely anyway. I am a mother and a wife and my family’s well-being will always come first but I’m going to make more of an effort to look after myself too.

Self-care ideas for those who struggle with their mental health

In truth, everyone should practice self-care/mindfulness. It’s a healthy way of life in my opinion, yet one I neglect far too often. It’s easy to forget yourself when you care for others; when you’re too busy to eat properly and trying to do it all.

The following will feel like a fraud to me because I doubt that I will practice what I preach. But it’s true, so believe it.

Self-care is vital and that’s something I have to keep reminding myself of like many other people do too. There’s only one you. And whether you believe it or not YOU ARE IMPORTANT.

I’d also like to point out that these are based on my own experiences, and not everything will appeal to or work for everyone. But in any case, I think it’s important that we each find something that helps us look after our own selves. I hope you find this helpful in some way.

Take time out for you

Yes, I know. I raised my own eyebrows, but you know what? There are 24 hours in a day, everyone can spare at least half of one for themselves.

Take some time out just for you, whether that’s after the kids have gone to bed of an evening; after you’ve dropped everyone at school or even during your lunch break at work.

Spend this time doing something you WANT to do, not something you need to do. Whether that’s pampering yourself, watching whatever Netflix show you’re into until your eyes hurt, spend some time working on a project or enjoying a hobby.

Personally, I will catch up on the soaps, binge watch YouTube videos, do my makeup or give myself a mini facial, paint my nails, draw/paint… or even just lay on the bed and try to sleep. The latter doesn’t always work depending on how I am, I need distraction and I’ve never been good at sleeping during the day. I will occasionally take myself off to bed early though, depending on whether the kids are asleep already and what shift my hubby is on.

Get outside

Now, this is a tricky one for many but if you are okay with going outside, do it… as often as you can! Recently I’ve been quite anxious if I have to go out alone but fortunately, this isn’t something I HAVE to do often. I usually have someone as company.

Anxiety aside, I adore the outdoors and feel free when I’m surrounded by nature. I love birds and trees and the rain. I feel quite at home with a camera snapping away at all the beautiful things I see.

Get active if you’re able. I used to find running was great for the mind as well as the body, but alas due to pain, I’m restricted to indoor treadmills rather than hard terrain. There’s also walking, cycling, even tennis if you’re a fan!

While I have my ‘advice’ head on, I believe that everyone should find something that takes then make to their ‘happy place’ and then make it part of your everyday essential routine, without fail. It’s all about loving yourself enough to ensure you are happy and realising that life is short and in the long run, it doesn’t matter how successful you are at work or how much you ticked off your list every day if, at the end of your journey, you never enjoyed it. You never took the time to visit the beautiful garden; never read that book, never danced in the rain; never went out in what you like to wear, never took that risk, never loved like you’ve never been hurt… never made your dreams come true.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Whether that is practically or mentally, if you need support, please ask for it. This is not anywhere near as simple to do as that was to type, believe me, I know, but if you can, do. Even if it’s to ask a loved one or friend to give you a hand with the housework because everything feels too hard, or finding a support group locally or online. There are people out there to help you. Don’t ever think otherwise. You are not alone and nobody expects you to do it all.

My biggest saviour is having someone I trust implicitly to confide in. Someone I know will always be there for me even through the rough times. I am extremely lucky that I am able to have this support but even if you don’t feel like you can talk to anyone close to you, there are organisations such as The Samaritans who run helplines where you can talk to someone in confidence.

Create routines

If routines keep you feeling together and secure, then have some for you too. Maybe a new skincare/shower routine to ensure you are looking after yourself each morning. Or a simple bedtime routine; gentle exercise, maybe a twilight walk, a milky drink, a warm bath, read a chapter of a book, paint your nails, pick out an outfit for tomorrow. Then listen to soothing sounds or a podcast just before you try and fall asleep. It doesn’t have to be set in stone or something you have to do every day without fail, but sometimes something to look forward to can help focus and relax the mind a little.

Say No

Another one I find difficult to do in practice. I have this thing where I automatically feel a ridiculous amount of guilt unless I accept everything asked of me. I used to think it was selfish not to, I mean it wouldn’t hurt me, would it? Only it can. My responsibility lies in making sure my family are happy, healthy, loved and well looked after. Beyond that, sometimes I need to use any energy that I have left for me. And as selfish as that sounds, it absolutely isn’t. We all deserve to put ourselves high on the priority list, and do you know why? Because none of us are any use to anyone else if we are ill. If we are so burnt out that we can barely function; if our stress levels are so high we lose focus on what is important. Learn to say no. It’s not selfish, it just means you are taking control of you and prioritising what is actually important.

Stop being hard on yourself

This one is the hardest one for me. I have a tendency to blame myself for everything and I’m my own worst critic like many other people are too.

I get things wrong, I run out of time, I procrastinate, I lose my shit when I should just breathe. But that’s okay. It’s called being human, and I need to remember that.

Nobody and I mean NOBODY is perfect. You are enough, you are loved, you deserve good things and you are only human.

Write to yourself

This might sound strange but it’s a great way to learn to be kind to yourself. I listened to a podcast a few months ago that encouraged listeners to take a moment and imagine themselves as a small child (or your best friend if that feels better to you). Think about how you feel about yourself, your worries, things you want to do differently, things you might feel ashamed or angry about and respond as if you were a young child.

How differently; how more kindly would you respond?

This is how you should treat yourself. Gently, kindly; with compassion, with a soothing, comforting word. No judgement, no punishment. I think it’s nice to write this down so that you can re-read it when you need to. Trust me, it was a eye-opener for me and really makes you realise how hard you can be on yourself.

I think being kind to ourselves, putting ourselves first from time to time and allowing ourselves to take a step back and notice the little things in life, is a healthy way to live.

Just remember, you are worth the time.

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A turning point

… Well I hope so anyway. As regular readers will know, I suffer with anxiety and depression, both of which have hit me like a truck in the past 14 months or so and I’ve found life pretty challenging to put it mildly.

I’ve been trying so damn hard to help myself recently and I’ve done a lot of soul searching as well as trying various techniques to attempt to get myself out of this negative cycle that I seem to have become trapped into.

I was cleaning the bathroom earlier and thinking that I actually felt ok today. I actually felt happiness. Something I genuinely had forgotten how to feel, and I don’t mean that I don’t love or care, because I do. Far too much; I just mean I’d forgotten how to recognise anything other than worry or panic or despair. Anyway, I digress. Today I felt like I could do it. I could laugh, and be productive, and enjoy things. I could succeed.

And then it came to me. I need to look forward, not back.

The future is unknown. Which is terrifying; especially for an anxious person, but it is also absolutely anything I want it to be. I have the power to make my future, and my loved ones future, a happy one. Obviously I can’t control everything but I can dream and I can hope. I can choose happy.

Like my husband said to me a few weeks ago, I need to stop living in the past. No matter how much heartache I put on myself, fretting and dwelling on the bad times, I can’t change it. It’s done. It’s gone.

The only thing any of us can do is look forward with open minds, and open hearts and dream. Dream of happy times, healthy, joyous, fulfilling, exciting times that are full of love and kindness.

Bad things happen, that’s just life, but we can overcome the negativity they bring and remember that life is short, too bloody short. So no more hanging on to what ifs and if onlys. No more dissecting the past and punishing ourselves for not being good enough. Only look to the future, grab life by the wonderful and DREAM – we deserve that, don’t we?!

Now I just need to keep this mindset. I’m not naive enough to believe that I’m going to suddenly get better, but having a more positive outlook can only help me. I’ve had a blip already tonight, but I’m dusting myself off and I’m hopeful for a better day tomorrow.

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I have anxiety so I do things differently

I know that anxiety is irrational and the way I handle things and behave sometimes isn’t how ‘it should be done’.

But I can’t change that.

I panic.

I over-analyse.

I expect the worst.

I get upset.

I can’t help it.

I’d love to be laid back and barely bat an eyelid when things go Pete Tong.

I’d die to feel stress-free and just go with the flow.

I’d do anything to wing it every time – just do and worry about it later.

I’d love to thrive on the adrenaline that a crisis brings.

I’d love to be at my best under pressure.

But right now, that isn’t me. It probably never will be again, and it hurts when someone points out how I do it wrong. I KNOW. But it doesn’t mean I can just stop because someone finds it annoying or it’s not how other people do things.

Anxiety is annoying.

Anxiety is a shit.

Anxiety ruins everything.


But I’m doing my best and trying to please and not let everyone down.

I’m trying not to be annoying and a failure.

I’m surviving and trying.

I just do things differently.

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A letter to my husband….from your anxious wife

Literally just a few seconds ago I was thinking about you; my heart leapt and I felt a knot in my tummy, wondering if you were thinking about me too. Just like when we were teenagers; never imagining that we’d still be a couple nearly 20 years later.

I wondered if you really knew; deep in your heart, just how much I love you. So I’m writing this letter so if you ever doubt it, you can be reminded that I am truly, madly, deeply in love with you. I doubt that words can accurately convey the depth of my feelings for you but I’m going to try.

As a little girl I used to dream about marrying a handsome prince and living happily ever after. As a terribly awkward teen, I convinced myself that no one would ever love me, I wasn’t pretty or cool after all.

Then there you were, cool and handsome, oozing charm and you made me laugh; I loved being in your company and I fell in love with you very quickly. I just knew you ‘were the one’ as cringy as that might sound. I wasn’t a great girlfriend as I was learning about relationships as ours went along and I was so scared that you’d get fed up with me. But here we are, still annoying each other! My soulmate.

God knows we’ve had our fair share of painful memories as well as the beautiful and magical, but I’d say I got my wish. I just need to work harder to make you happy and secure our happily ever after.

Life has been challenging recently which is possibly the understatement of the decade, and I know you put up with a lot. My anxiety makes me pretty unloveable and as hard that is for me to accept, I know it’s true. Yet here you are, holding my hand through the tough days and helping me to see that the negative thoughts lie to me, and that you are my truth. Anxiety twists and turns everything into making me believe that everyone is going to leave me and that I’m just not enough to make them want to stay. Despite trying to ignore it, anxiety breaks my heart several times a day.

Maybe I don’t deserve you but I’m glad you stay. I’m glad you choose me and I’m glad that I’m lucky enough to be able to call you my husband for always. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for forgiving me when my words hurt you.

Thank you for being my friend. I know that people cringe when they hear someone say that their partner is their best friend, but with you it’s true. It’s you I want to tell my secrets, hopes, dreams and concerns to. It’s you I think of above any other. It’s you I want to spend my time with, unwind with and laugh with. It’s you I want a future with and I can’t imagine you not being in it.

You are the one thing I can count on to be real, especially on my bad days where I don’t know which way to turn. I don’t think you realise that you are with me even when you’re not. You’re never far from my thoughts and in my heart always. You’re in everything I do, and I love that. You are a part of me.

I often wonder if everyone has a soulmate, even if they never meet and I couldn’t imagine anything more sorrowful than there being someone out there who makes you whole, yet never knowing of their existence. You are mine and I am so grateful.

I’m so sorry for everything I put you through. But I hope you see that it’s not really me, it’s the anxiety and one day I hope to be free and you can be carefree once more.

I feel like we weather the storms but come out stronger each time, able to battle whatever life throws at us. Together. I hope you believe that too.

I love you so much.

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Why I blog

I’d be lying if I said I was a prolific blogger; I used to be, but life changed and so did my priorities. That said, I love having a platform where I can express myself in the way that I feel most comfortable. With words.

I started this blog because I missed writing, I missed cooking and I missed being able to put my work ‘out there’, whatever it might be. So, I wanted to incentivise myself to get out there and do it! However, I find myself writing more about how I feel than my favourite banana bread recipe, but that’s okay and that’s why blogging is so bloody brilliant.

My blog allows me to have a voice. In (my) world where I feel unheard or misunderstood, here I can have my say. It might stay unread (or in some cases, unpublished) but my thoughts are there in text and out of my head, as ‘therapy’ for myself or simply to document moments in my life.

I suppose this brings me to my blogging goals, really. Which makes me laugh because it sounds quite pretentious (coming from me anyway).

I suppose I’m fulfilling my ultimate goal just by writing. It’s doing just what I wanted it to do…it’s given me a platform to share my thoughts and my favourite things. However, I’d love to be able to help others in some way. Maybe writing for charities or raising awareness for important issues that I feel passionate about.

I’d also like to start working hard on recipe development and really improve my photography. In an ideal world, I would love to work from home, run my own business and actually earn from my skills, doing something I love. There’s no such thing as an ideal world but it doesn’t mean we can’t try to get as close to it as possible.

Only I can make my dreams a reality so I am going to work bloody hard to do just that!

Are you a blogger? Why do you blog?

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How I unwind

I feel like a bit of a fraud writing this as I don’t allow myself ‘me time’ anywhere near often enough, but after chatting to my hubby recently where he pointed out that I don’t prioritise myself in my day to day schedule, and I absolutely should for my own well-being.

How right he is and so I decided that it was time to make time for myself. Even if it’s 10 minutes here and there. It’s just so tempting to try and cram everything I need to get done into the few child-free hours I have on a school day.

I came to realise that actually, I should be scheduling my ‘me time’ into those child-free hours instead of trying claw extra time at the end of the day when all I want to do is sleep but can’t.

So here are some things that I do that helps me to unwind or try and forget about the day’s stresses.


I have music on in the background most of the time as I feel better with background noise (plus I can’t hear noise from outside, which believe me, is a blessing) I wrote a post about music as therapy, previously.

Hot bath

Yes, boring but it’s unusual for me to have a looooong soak without someone hammering on the door needing to poop or needing mummy to catch the spider/ check for monsters/ break up world war three that started over who wanted which quilt. Bath oils/ Lush products and candles preferred but not essential; silence is usually sufficient! 😉

Go for a walk or run

Plantar fasciitis allowing, I love running. Although I’m usually limited to a treadmill these days, it sure just helps to burn off excess energy/negativity.

I love going for long walks whatever the weather. Autumn is my absolute favourite time to be. Outdoors. The crisp leaves, the birds, atmosphere and a perfect temperature; chilly but not cold. The kids love being outdoors too, so everyone’s a winner.

Laptop Time

I have not been very well recently, so I can’t lay all the blame on having a family or piss-poor planning, HOWEVER, I worked out that up until approximately 10 days ago, I hadn’t used the laptop/PC in over 4 months!! 4 months!!! How ridiculous is that?! What on Earth was I thinking? It’s not even like my house suddenly became a pristine show home so what the f*ck was I doing with my life? Oh yeah… existing 🙁 I use my phone. Everyday. It’s like it’s been surgically attached to my hand but it’s not quite the same as curling up all cosy with the laptop and a never-ending supply of hot drinks.

Bullet Journaling

I am completely freaking rubbish at this but I love it! I’ve always wanted to be an illustrator and I’ve been a doodler since I could hold a pencil so ‘permission’ to fanny about with fine liners and markers in the name of ‘organisation’ gets my vote! 😉 Joking aside though, the art of bullet journaling is pure genius so if you want to get all your stuff in one place whilst becoming super organised, productive and creative, then give it a go.


Sometimes and then not really at times because myself and blogging have a love/hate relationship depending on my current state of mind. But when I’m in a mood like I am tonight, I could write for hours and hours (and I have done just that tonight). Other times I can’t bring myself to even log in, but I’ve learned that that’s absolutely okay.

Watch a movie 

Again it depends on my mood but I love watching movies of all genres. I’m a huge horror fan but I equally enjoy comedies, love stories, action movies, sci-fi, family films…. you name it.

Catching up with TV

I am a soap junkie; my guilty pleasure. I have an eclectic taste in most things and TV is no exception. I love period dramas like Victoria, Real life/reality shows, comedy shows and I am a big fan of The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Doctor Who, Lucifer, House – to name a few.

I also love to watch hospital shows, real life or not… I just love them. I didn’t care that One Born might scare the shit out of me when I was 8 months pregnant, I just had to watch. I also like parenting/lifestyle shows like Supernanny, the 3 day Nanny, obsessive-compulsive cleaners – probably because I’m so bloody nosy!

If anyone has recommendations for new things to watch please let me know!


Similarly to TV, I subscribe to hundreds of channels covering all sorts. Beauty, parenting, food, tech, people who make me smile, weep or laugh….you name it. I’ll write a post on my favourite YouTubers as there are soooo many that I love to watch.

Snuggle up with my hubby and or children

I have come to realise that there is absolutely no shame in bundling into the ‘big bed’ in the middle of the afternoon for a nap or to lay together watching movies. In actual fact, I think it’s an occasional necessity.

How do you unwind?

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17 ways to my heart

It’s the little things that make my world go round. I’m lucky to have a husband who knows how to keep me sane and make me feel loved and safe. These are some of the things that make me feel warm and fuzzy.

This post could almost be a ‘letter to my husband’ type post so I feel like this is a good place to say thank you. Thank you to the one person I can always rely on; who makes me happy even when the world feels like such a crazy place. The person who keeps me sane (ok, maybe, sort of), who brings me back down to Earth when I flip out.

Thank you. For everything. For putting up with me, supporting me and holding my hand. Thank you for loving me at my worst and still seeing the best in me.

Thank you for the little things. I love you.

Hug me (if I love you) 

I’m not a hugger AT ALL but I need hugs from those who have my heart (especially my husband) All. Of. The. Time. They make me feel loved and safe and boy I need that.

Surprise me

I’m not materialistic in the slightest but come home early to spend time with me, show up unexpectedly to support me when I’m struggling. That means more to me than any material gift ever could.

Show me you want to spend time with me

Yes, maybe I am needy but there’s nothing that will make my heart sing more than knowing that someone enjoys my company and actually wants to spend their time with lil old me.

Make me laugh

My hubby is amazing at this, fortunately! Anxiety can’t win when laughter is around!

Be honest and loyal

I have no time for anything else. Everyone fibs, that’s human nature but with the big stuff, honesty all the way.

Write to me

I love little letters and notes… just because. The best present I could get is a heartfelt letter full of words and sentiments just for me.

Supply me with fizz

Prosecco. Or Pinot. Or Sauvignon Blanc. Or Gin! I’m not fussy. Well, I am, but if you’d buy it for your favourite aunty then, chances are you’re on to a winner.

Watch movies with me

I love a good horror, but anything with a good storyline will keep my attention. Especially if paired with plenty of snacks and preferably my husband!

Bring me or Bake me Cake

Ideally something despicably gooey and involving chocolate. But, again I’m not fussy. Cake is cake (said no-one ever) Good cake only, please! I have standards! 😉

Listen to me

I don’t just mean let me talk. I mean really listen to me. Even on my batshit crazy days when I’m irrational and emotional, knowing I have someone to listen and care without judgement means the world.

Cook with me

I LOVE cooking, but not on my own. I love to chat and sip wine/coffee/fizzy water as we cook up a feast together.

Let me love you back

As socially awkward as I am, I love deeply. Especially my husband and children, they are my world and I’d go to the ends of the Earth for them. Likewise, if I’m your friend, I’ll be your friend for life. You just got to learn to love the crazy first! 

Let me support you. Even if I’m struggling, please don’t feel like you have to hide your own problems from me. If I can help, I will, and if I can’t…I’ll be there, always.

Buy me stationery

…Or birdie things. I know I said I’m not materialistic but I’ll make an exception here! I love notebooks and journals, lovely pens and birds. Not actual real-life birds, I’m not the pigeon lady! (I totally would be, if I could though! 😂) but prints, pictures… that sort of thing, will take me to my happy place.

Bring me tea

Tea makes the world go round. I have been known as a walking teapot, and I’d say that that is a fairly good description!  Just don’t bring me matcha tea or anything else remotely green. YUK!

Do stuff with me

I don’t mean that kind of stuff 🙄 Minds out of the gutter please! 😉 Unless you’re my hubby then it’s ok! 😝 Anyway, I mean absolutely anything. It doesn’t have to cost any money or involve travelling, just doing the housework with me or running errands with me will make me feel content. I am a homebody but I will go anywhere to spend time with my favourites.

Text me

I don’t think a lot of people understand the power of a simple text. As someone with anxiety, radio silence of any kind allows my brain to kick into overdrive and the negative or irrational thoughts start flooding in. Just a few words by text can change that in an instant as it makes you realise that someone is thinking about you at that very moment. As silly as it sounds, it fills me with instant warmth, and I feel cared for.

Just be there

Knowing you support me, and you have my back means the world. Having you there with me physically too is everything.


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My Music Playlist

I’ve always been a music lover and I’ll freely admit to having somewhat of an eclectic taste that probably isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. What I am listening to totally reflects my mood. I find it helps me, mentally and emotionally.


Music helps me to focus or it allows me to distance myself from anxious thoughts. A distraction, if you like. Mindfulness is quite a thing now; you hear about it everywhere and I think most of us would agree that some sort of ‘time-out’ from our own over-thinking minds, can only be a good thing.

Mindfulness enables us to live fully in the present moment; thinking about breathing or focussing on sensations throughout the body whilst letting go of everything else that’s happening around us. Music helps me do this too – On a good day, I can completely close my mind to everything else, and just be.. in that very moment (anxiety allowing).

This theory is backed up by research as talked about here on the  BBC website.   I absolutely believe that this is true, and whilst it’s not a ‘magic’ fix to all ills, it can definitely give me a boost when I need it.

What music inspires you? What music gives you that positive boost or allows you to ‘feel’, if only for a minute?

As I said, my music taste is a mixed bag, but I like music that makes me feels something. I love a good power ballad when I want to shout my feelings from the rooftops, but simply can’t. I like to listen to something with sheer emotion and that helps me cry if I need to, or let my frustrations out by ‘singing’ along (sorry neighbours!) I also have been known to listen to more ’emo’ or darker music when the mood takes me.

On the whole, I’m pretty much a pop music lover. I’m really loving Ed Sheeran and Demi Lovato for some real emosh stuff and I absolutely love Twenty One Pilots for music that says what I’m thinking. The mind can be a scary place sometimes – music for me, is like a journey; a story and I relate to so many of their lyrics. ❤️

Here’s what I’ve been listening to recently:

  • The entire Divide album – Ed Sheeran (Absolutely beautiful emotional rollercoaster)
  • Make Me Wanna DieThe Pretty Reckless
  • Born This WayLady Gaga
  • Fire Meets GasolineSia
  • Wherever You Will GoCharlene Soraia (Never fails to make me cry!)
  • Stone Cold Demi Lovato
  • Nightingale Demi Lovato
  • Stressed Out Twenty One Pilots
  • The Run and Go Twenty One Pilots
  • HurtsEmeli Sande
  • HeavydirtysoulTwenty One Pilots
  • MigraineTwenty One Pilots

Also listening to Panic! At The Disco thanks to my teenager! ❤️

What’s on your music playlist?




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Someone take 2016 outside and give it a talking to

What is it with this year?

2016 has been a steaming pile of brown stuff, and that’s to put it politely. Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, Trump happened.

2016 has taken too many of our idols…. Bowie, Wilder, Ali, Prince; to name but a few. Terrorist attacks; innocent lives lost in the name of hate. The Brexit….the list goes on.

Sadly, due to the election hysteria, the horrific accident in Croydon this morning was somewhat overlooked by the media. But, it’s with those people who lost their lives, loved ones and the injured that my thoughts are with this evening. I can’t even begin to imagine the heartache and pain that many are feeling right now. I’m praying for you all tonight.

There’s not much left of 2016 and thank goodness for that. I for one will be glad to see the back of it.

On that note, and after yesterday’s promise to try to see the positives, I’m asking ‘What GOOD things have happened this year?‘ Help me out here… I’m struggling.

  1. My plantar fasciitis has (sort of) stabilised. Massive positive!!
  2. My family are happy and healthy – which is all you can wish for, isn’t it!
  3. The kids say Pokemon Go… although, I think the novelty well and truly wore off on that one once Summer was over. But it did get people outside and moving.
  4. Andy Murray won Wimbledon! Yay!!!
  5. My kids met Little Mix – who are awesome and really lovely (A big thanks to Jesy for making my girl feel important to you for that few moments that she had with you. You’ll never know how much that meant to her!)
  6. I’m back blogging! Woop!
  7. Autumn. My favourite season; I love the colours, brisk mornings, hot chocolate and red cups. Snuggly jumpers and comfy boots.

What positives can you add? I think we all need something good to focus on right now!





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Rays of light through the darkest clouds

I feel like I should apologise for the radio silence recently. I had the Summer ‘off’ so I could concentrate on my family, but since then I’ve been going through some hard times mentally speaking. I won’t go into a long dramatic post about it all but I felt compelled to write in celebration of the good bits.

I honestly started to think that his was just ‘me’ now and feeling like this was just going to be my life, with regular panic attacks thrown in for good measure. I think I’ve forgotten how to see the positive things day-to-day, or perhaps I see them but I just don’t notice them.

On Monday I decided a bit of retail therapy would do me good. Fresh air, away from the same four walls and the negativity that fuels the storm in my head. I had a really nice time on my own. I bought myself some bargain clothes in the sale and pottered around, looking for ideas for Christmas presents.

On the way home, I felt a bounce in my step and an unfamilar warmth. It felt good and as I sat down on the bus, I realised that I. Was. Actually. Smiling. Not a fake smile to be polite and pretend, but a genuine life-is-good, happy grin.

I had noticed the little things around me. A robin dancing across the fences, a couple holding hands, a little girl skipping along; the sun shining even though the clouds where grey and threatening rain. I suppose it was a mini epiphany – it’s the little things sometimes, isn’t it?

I almost felt like the old me again.  Just for a little while.

Let me be clear. I am not saying that a shopping spree ‘cured’ me, because oh my God, I am nowhere near it. But I just think that it’s important to focus on the positive, no matter how small and insignificant it might seem. Can’t even believe I’ve typed that sentence, to be honest.

Life came tumbling back down to Earth with a bump when I returned to familiar surroundings, passing the ‘negativity in my life’ as I went. It was an unwelcome reminder of the darkness I often feel but I was determined that it wasn’t going to rain on my parade.

Monday was a good day. And I’ll take that.


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